the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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