My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
