Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
