What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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