Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
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Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Drunk is not a location!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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