When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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