So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
