I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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