He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
