I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
