Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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