You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
