How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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