Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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