just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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