Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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