i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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