Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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