I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
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i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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