can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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