At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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