No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
