I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
