Pants 0. Shit 1.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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