By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
