Barsexuality is the new black.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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