Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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