This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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