Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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