I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
