Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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