he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
