I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize