I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She bit a glass in half.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
