You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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