My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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