I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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