he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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