I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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