I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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