but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
