dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and she was petting her beer can
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
