If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
