can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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