found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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