Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
