yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
