For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
