Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
