and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
