I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
