I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
