you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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