she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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