My hand turned me down
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
