Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
