Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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