Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
