At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
