I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Its about making memories worth repressing
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
