the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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