theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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