quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
