Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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