My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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